Can't help but wonder

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 5:10-11

When I see my sister laugh, I see her again.  

Through all this I know God is sovereign and faithful. He’s the only thing that has kept me believing in a chance for change.

Best quote of the day: “Do y’all sell tobacco here?”

-Oh yeah and you can buy a 12 pack around the corner. at this Book store. on campus. Boys are dumb.

I can’t sleep. I shouldn’t had that coffee at 11:00. And this pillow is throwing me off, its not fluffy in the right spots.

Why am I so quiet when it comes to my job? I hardly said 2 words all day. Am I always this quiet when I am first encountering new people or am I just in a place to notice it more? Oh, the questions of life.

Today I was rudely awoken by a loud knock on the door. I opened it to a friend looking back at me. I had on my tie die pajamas pants and large tshirt and no makeup. I know he judged me but i don’t care.He stayed about an hour talking about absolutely nothing. What was the point of that.

I’m writing all this in hopes ill be tired and just eventually not even post this but fall asleep but its not working.

Today at work I saw 2 people I knew. One acknowledged me and the other one didn’t.

I hate the fact that in less than a month I won’t be able to see benji everyday.

This weekend we’re having a french toast party. I mean it’ll be fun, and I like making french toast, but i don’t actually like eating the french toast. I kinda feel like a traitor for that. I honestly don’t like breakfast food that much. Exception of eggs on most days. and bacon.

Last weekend on our short camping trip I didn’t have any fun. I had to babysit a girl that was afraid of dirt. Literally. I wish I could jut relive one camp out at camp one more time with my best friends. I don’t think anyone will fully understand my passion of that place besides the people that experienced it with me. I don’t get how that place changed so much of myself. I don’t know where in the world i would be without it.

This past Monday with my mom was the best time in the world I’ve ever had with her. I love my mom so much. She’s the best woman I know.

I pray God never lets me fall into just being comfortable with my life.

My weaknesses are: interviews and my gullible-ness. 

Some friends and I went to Huntsville yesterday for a baseball game. We got there in the 4th inning and left in the 7th. Why the heck did we waste all that time and gas money for three innings and some dinner? I mean I’m not complaining it wasn’t my car and I got to sit next to him the whollllllleeeee way.

Am I too much of a moocher? I mean I always pay people back in some form. and in some time frame that’s acceptable.

And this is my life.

“Stop inviting walls into wide-open spaces.”